Mother's Day...

I have been thinking about these things for a couple weeks now, and wanted to let them out. 

I am not really sure why, but there's a part of me that really feels sad about  Mother's Day. I never used to feel that way, because my Mother is just one of the best of the best, but I guess I can kind of understand...

First of all, I think it has to do with the fact that I am not really sure I ever want kids in my life. Everytime I say that outloud, I get looks like I'm crazy or people think that I am weird. This statement does not make me sad in any way, I feel like if I ever decided I wanted kids, I would be a great Mother. But, I just don't know if I want them. I hope at some point in my life, that feeling changes. As a teacher, I love children and everything they come with. But I just really don't have that "feeling" of wanting to be a Mom. I think 99.9% are never truly ready to have children at the time they do, and I would just like to make sure that I am not one of them. This is not saying those people are not good parents, but I just want to be ready.

Secondly, I think it has to do with the fact that I know way too many people that have trouble getting pregnant and having children that Mother's Day kind of brings up those feelings. As a sister to two of those struggling, it really just tears up my heartstrings because I consider them to be like "Moms" to me. And while I see in one sister everyday how amazing of a Mom she is, I just pray and try to continue to have faith that the other will get the chance one way or another to show the world that very same thing. And I mean this without a doubt: I would gladly give up my chance to have children for those sisters I love so much. I would just like them to know that.

Lastly, Mother's Day makes a little bit sad because I feel like not even less then a year ago, my family was rocked when we knew what it felt like to be worried so much about our Mom. I know she will probably be upset because she doesn't like attention on her, but I just want her to know that I so blessed and lucky to have a Mom like her. I have never known a person to be so incredibly selfless, strong, and loving as she is. 

While so many people celebrate Mother's Day (as we all should), I just can't help but feel these other emotions as well. So even though I will be a little bit blue, I just hope I can be reminded of all the great things about this day too.